My Freshman Year of College: Letters Home

I felt homesick my freshman year of college. I solved this with writing. I wrote in my diary, I wrote on my blog Stories for Strangers and I wrote funny blurbs about my life to family and friends back home. I wrote much to my sister Alexa, who was a junior in high school at …

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In Fourth Grade I Wrote My Mother the Creepiest Letter

We've been through this, I was a weird kid. Sometimes I think to myself--man, I couldn't have been that weird. Surely I misremember the past to some degree. I mean, look at her, she's harmless. What's a penchant for horrific masks among friends? From the time I waffle-stomped dog shit down the bathroom drain, thereby …

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Q&A #3: Strange interests? Painful Piercings? Bees? Answering Snarky Questions My Sister Asked Me

"Alexa, I need you to ask me five or six questions for a Q&A," I tell my younger sister over the phone. "Why would I do that? I know you enough. I don't need to know anymore," she said in a huffy tone. "Come on, you're super judgmental sometimes--all the time--just think of a few …

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The Time I Learned German and Ruined the Fifth Grade Christmas Concert

At some point I should have stopped joining extracurricular activities. My track record as a member of fifth grade left much to desire. From the time I joined band and ruined everything to the dog poop incident of fifth grade that caused a bio-hazard and shut down my school, my prospects of ever being cool …

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The Time I Joined Fifth Grade Band and Ruined Everything

I was a weird kid. After the dog shit waffle-stomp incident of fifth grade in which I caused a bio-hazard, shut down my elementary school for a day and ruined some formative years (As my sister remembers, "That's the day I realized there were bad people in the world") I decided I needed an outlet. …

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