“Hello, Ally? It’s Your Second Favorite Grandma.”

How to Behead a Barbie with a Spoon and Other Life Lessons From Grandma was still a fresh little baby post on the Internet when I received a phone call from my other grandmother, Cynthia Louise Morin. "Ring, ring," my phone said. I looked at the caller ID. "Uh-oh," I said, clicking answer. "Hello?" "Hello, …

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How to Behead a Barbie with a Spoon and Other Life Lessons From Grandma

For the first six or so years of my life, my feet never touched the ground when I was with Margaret. We flew on her broomstick, in my mind, as she carried me around on her back. My mother sometimes had to remind my grandmother that my legs were in perfectly functional order and I …

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The Time I Joined Fifth Grade Band and Ruined Everything

I was a weird kid. After the dog shit waffle-stomp incident of fifth grade in which I caused a bio-hazard, shut down my elementary school for a day and ruined some formative years (As my sister remembers, "That's the day I realized there were bad people in the world") I decided I needed an outlet. …

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A Millennial Cooks–and Lives her Twenties–without a Recipe

Adulthood means a stable 9 to 5 career to afford a house, a car, a few conservative stock market investments and bi-weekly trips to the supermarket to purchase vegetables. Sure, I can do that. Well, can I? So far my early adulthood hasn't followed the steps to what others might consider success. I still have a …

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