By Allyson Morin
Yesterday my day began with a four and a half hour commute to work and came to a head as I stood in the middle of an intersection watching a car doing 45 mph run over my cell phone. Of all the ways for a crappy cell phone to bite the dust, that’s not so bad.
I travel for work and am used to spending long hours in the car driving through unfamiliar territory. Yesterday I had an assignment in the middle of Rhode Island. I have no GPS in my car so I use the Google Maps on my phone to get around. It’s just over a two-hour drive for a half hour of actual work, but it went reasonably well and I took a chunk out of my audiobook.
Afterward, I agreed to meet a person I work with at a coffee shop down the street to discuss billing. I didn’t know where it was located so the plan was to follow them in my car. I was having trouble finding my keys–taking out everything in my purse and resting it on the roof of my car rather than the ground because it had rained. I found them and swiped everything back in my bag and started driving.
As I’m driving, I start to get this sick feeling in my stomach. I don’t know if you ever feel this way, but something is wrong that you can’t quite put a finger on. My phone hadn’t buzzed in a while, unusual since I’m bombarded with e-mails every day. As the lead car drives off in the distance, I took a hard right into a gas station parking lot to locate my phone to ease my nerves.
It wasn’t there.
I checked under the seat, I tipped everything out of my bag, I checked the roof of the car, I checked the glove box, I checked the back seat, I checked my jacket pockets, I checked everywhere. Nothing.
I started the car back up and peeled out of the parking lot back the way I came. Back at the filming location, my subject had already left but John-the-security-guard lets me in. I explained the situation. No phone had turned up but for the next half hour, he walked around the parking lot with me checking under every car to see if I dropped it. It wasn’t there. I decided to drive my route again. I made it about a mile down the road when I came to an intersection. The light was red and I was the first one in the line.
Oh my gosh, there it is. Perfectly placed in the middle of the intersection, it couldn’t be more dead-center if I put it there myself with a compass.
I threw on my hazard lights and threw open my car door. I have one foot with a high heel, the other barefoot but I scurry into the road totally disregarding the light change. Most cars stop but one does not.
I get within a foot of my phone just in time to watch it disappear beneath the tire of a car doing 45 mph. I hear a crunch. I hear the man in the car swear at me to get out of the road. He continues driving. Well, I guess I found it.
I’m no better off than where I started because I still can’t call anyone and I have no damn idea where I am. I retrace my drive back to the filming location. John-the-security-guard greets me by name. Guess I’ll just live here forever now!
He ushers me behind the front desk to get on the computer (how do I always end up breaking the rules wherever I go?) and we find the number of my co-worker on the company website. I let a few people know I’m not dead, just in a bit of a kerfuffle and say goodbye to my new friend John-the-security guard and rather unconfidently drive back to my home state to visit the Verizon store.
A great way to make friends with all the employees of an otherwise empty business on a random Thursday afternoon is to walk in, dressed to the nines if a bit disheveled and hold out the million tiny pieces of your broken phone and ask, “I had a day. Can you fix it?”
They could not fix it but they could offer an expensive upgrade to an iPhone instead.
In the end, I made about six new friends and was out several hundred dollars. Like I always say though, the stories that feel the most shit as you live them are the most fun to tell when the dust has settled. I’ve literally built my whole blog around that belief.
NEW PHONE WHO DIS? This is a weird place to put this note, but I lost all my contacts so if you know me in real life (no creeps plz thx) please do me a solid and text me your name so I have your number again. Thanks, pals 🙂