Self-Love Sunday is a day to chat about positivity, self-acceptance, growth and self-love. In today’s video, I discuss the feeling of “post-graduation blues” which is an emotional lull and a feeling of directionlessness following major life changes. I then deliver practical advice to attack it.
My last three-and-a-half years were dominated by a five-class course load and no less than two jobs at a time, usually, three, while I pursued my degree. After graduation, I threw myself into weeks of travel before returning to the states to… nothing. Without a “real” 9-to-5 and nothing on my plate, I immediately felt the effect of this directionlessness on my psyche. I heard over and over “You’ll figure it out!” or “It’s normal to feel a little sad after accomplishing a goal!” but I found those reassurances didn’t get me off the floor of my room watching YouTube videos all day feeling vaguely depressed about day after day of no plans.
I’m the sort of person who needs structure to feel normal. I need to know where I’ll be at each hour of the day and what I am responsible for doing. I thrive an environment, like school, that is highly regimented and time-consuming. The less free time I have, the more productive I am and likewise the better about myself I feel. Maybe I’m not alone in this, maybe this is you as well, but I could be perfectly happy in a world like weekends or a day off. Since graduating a month or so ago, I’ve felt this vague creeping sensation, like you feel around 7 p.m. on a Sunday evening, that I’m not doing enough with my newfound freedom and by association maybe that I’m not enough, either. What am I contributing, what am I creating, how am I working to improve myself with day after day of semi-unemployment? (I work from home… Am I really employed if I wear pajamas to the “office” kitchen table?)
In today’s video, I take an emotionless approach to deal with an emotional problem. I offer up advice to replicate structure in an unstructured environment so you can start to feel more productive and make positive gain toward your personal goals. Changing your mindset starts with a calculated analysis of your physical environment. Is this an environment I work best in? How can I change my environment to suit my needs? How can I adjust my expectations and behaviors to be a little more flexible?
(Re-reading that sentence about flexibility made me laugh because I sound about as flexible as a three-day-old Olive Garden breadstick.)
Treating each day like a day at the office helps me to stay focused and stay on track. If I sat around waiting for inspiration to strike, I would be waiting all day, because my current, loose environment isn’t conducive to those moments of inspiration. My day starts in the morning, waking up at a consistent time and getting dressed to make it to the “office” in the right mindset. I make to-do lists for each day: work goals, personal goals and errands and pencil in deadlines to complete each task. It doesn’t matter if I don’t “feel like” writing or don’t feel creative, I just start at the same time each day and finish when it’s time to clock out.
Admittedly, I might be a lizard person because it isn’t the fun or playfulness of creative expression that motivates me to start but literally, honestly, the routine of doing it every day that helps me to improve and feel good about it. Satisfying that routine and feeling productive brings me joy, the creativity (or entertainment, manufactured fun for your consumption) is the byproduct. I understand that might sound strange to you, but I think that part of moving in a direction of self-love or self-improvement is an honest understanding of how you operate best and accepting that your normal looks a little different than everyone else’s normal.
To my fellow lizard people going through some life changes, “you’ll figure it out”.
Welcome to my channel! My name is Allyson. I am a recent college graduate, a writer and a traveler with stories to share. Please like this video, comment and subscribe to see videos every Sunday, Tuesday and Friday!
Music Credit: (Free for Commercial Use via ccmixter.org)
Cafe Connection (ft. Morusque) by morgantj
Silence Await (ft. oldDog) by cdk